Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Being forced to run through hell....

"The path to paradise runs through hell."
Okay, sure....

I know you come here to get these questions answered, so I won't beat about the bush:  the movie  "Prometheus" was a piece of crap.  But it ended promising a sequel (something none of the "Alien" movies ever did, yet sequels were attached, awkwardly, one by one, and more and more senselessly, though I still like "Aliens" and "Alien Resurrection."  Sue me.)

"Prometheus" sucked pond water.  And it ended with two characters flying off to find the aliens responsible for the Aliens.  Xenomorphs.  Whatever.

Now comes the trailer for "Alien:  Covenant," which sounds vaguely religious again ("Prometheus" was set at Christmas (there's a tree on the ship somewhere), and there were other religious references, "Easter eggs" they're called now (!), sprinkled around.  Somehow the original alien who started life on our planet was a Jesus figure; or something.  Like I said:  a piece of crap.), and now it lands on the same planet that the ship "Prometheus" landed on (and where the first "Alien" movie will start, in 1979 but in the future from "Prometheus" and "Covenant"), because the iconic crashed ship full of eggs is there.  Wait, didn't that ship crash in "Prometheus"?   Or was it some other ship somewhere else?  I don't remember; and I don't care.

I wanna know where the other two characters went.  Because yes, the new trailer mimics the original "classic" trailer, but that's the problem:  this just looks like "Alien" with a new crew of bodies to dismember.  Haven't I seen this movie?

Where are the other two characters?  And how much exposition am I going to get about how the xenomorphs now look like the "classic" aliens, instead of sort of like the alien/human hybrid at the end of "Resurrection"?  They flew away, so what are they doing on this planet?  Is it a new ship that crashed there are remains intact for the Nostromo to find (although Nostromo found the ship on a planet inimicable to human life, and per the trailer, Covenant finds a demi-paradise).

One of the best things about "Alien" was there was no exposition, except for the one scene where Ripley nearly gets killed by the android on board, and gets him to explain, through the milky "blood" he is spitting up, that the Company she works for found out about the creatures and wanted to capture one, at the cost of the entire crew of "Nostromo" (they knew how to name space ships in 1979).  Now that's horror:  trapped in the haunted house (Scott himself called it that) with no chance of escape and no chance of survival, and put there by your own bosses.

Talk about a boss from hell.

"Covenant."  Well, like the Mayflower Compact, the crew landing on the planet mean to colonize it and stand by each other, so there's the "covenant."  We know the rest:  we've seen this movie before.

So where are the other two characters? They flew away at the end of "Prometheus," so what are they doing on this planet?  Is it a new ship that crashed there as remains intact for the Nostromo to find (although Nostromo found the ship on a planet inimicable to human life, and per the trailer, Covenant finds a demi-paradise). How does this tie into "Prometheus"?  I mean, I can understand not wanting to connect your film to that dog's breakfast (did I mention it really sucked?), but at some point this either has nothing to do with that film, or it does.  And I'm guessing there's more than one reason why no one wants to say how.

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